The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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