That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
