I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
