garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
