Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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