What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
