It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
