also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
