Sry I called you an 8
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Vodka?
Forever.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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