alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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