Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize