girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I came so hard my ears popped.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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