oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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