I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
