The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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