I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
