the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
