I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
