where am i from again
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
