lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
