Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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