Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
