i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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