HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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