we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
