I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
how does that bad decision feel?
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