your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
