are you still at the devil's house?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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