some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
