Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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