I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
