am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
