I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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