Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
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