I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize