dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
