Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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