I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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