god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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