At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I cut my penus on the lid.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
