I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
