It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize