I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
