the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
