Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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