going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think people are normalizing furries
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
