someone get that fucking seahorse.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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