she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
