You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize