Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
