1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
