Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
