it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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