yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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