its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
