just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
